For the first time in my life, I’m happy. At least some of the time.
That’s not exactly the right word — when I say “happy” — but it’s the best way I know to describe it. Have I ever experienced happiness before? Yes, of course. But when I’ve been happy in the past, it’s always been that I’ve felt happy about something in particular.
I was happy that a woman loved me. I was happy that I’d solved a major problem. Or gotten something new. Achieved something that made me feel good for a moment.
But there was always an expiration date on those things, even if I often didn’t understand that. If I felt happy that a particular woman loved me — someone who I had wanted, for instance — I typically felt as though this was the one thing that would make me happy for life.
But there was always something missing. Something was wrong.
Once the relationship died — or the shiny new object lost its shine — I always grew restless. Something inside me was always looking for the next big thing that would make me happy.
Slowly — without me consciously noticing it — something changed. A miracle happened.

Asking wrong questions keeps us trapped with the wrong answers
We’re celebrating Lucy’s second ‘adoptiversary’ in our furry home
Be careful what you hunger for; it’s very often not what you need
Happiness and success elude me unless I’m doing something I love
On National Dog Day, remember how love can change any of us
It’s a mystery why two cats bond — or why two people fall in love
‘One more thing’ can never bring the peace we can have right now
In the face of hazardous times, some still driven to be helpers