David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

David McElroy

VIDEO: Dangerous ideas are the ones that change world for good

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Two days ago, I started out to make a video about something which I needed to talk with you about, but I struggled with it. I eventually realized that I had too much to say — and then I realized that I needed to lay a foundation for where I was going.

Because of that, nothing in this video is what I started out to say. (That will come in another video very soon.) This one might seem dry to some people, but if you’re going to understand where I’m going — and why I’m about to do what I’m going to do — you have to understand the ideass which motivate my actions.

If you’ve been reading me for very long, you will recognize every one of these eight “dangerous ideas” — and you might understand why I think these things are important enough to cause me to rethink some of my plans for the future.

I had far too much to say, so I couldn’t cover these ideas in the depth I do when I write. As a result, I had to edit this down to something far more brief than it should have been.

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I’m losing need to explain myself to those who misunderstand me

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For most of my life, I lived with a fear of not being understood.

When people misunderstood me in some way — my intentions, my ideas, my motivations — I rushed to explain myself. The more I grew and changed, the more my ideas and thinking diverged from that of the mainstream culture around me, so the more I felt alienated. The more I felt misunderstood. And the more I felt a slight panic that I would be “in trouble.”

This took me a long time to figure out.

When I was a child, I constantly had to explain myself. My father could launch into one of his verbal assaults any time the mood struck him. If I said the most casual of things which he misunderstood — as “disrespectful” or wrong in some way — I could be under assault without warning. And once he started, he never backed down.

I learned to go to insane lengths to be clear to him, but I still worried about the inevitable misunderstanding — and I grew up to take that same fear of being misunderstood into all of my life.

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Briefly: Someone needs to hold me accountable if I don’t publish a video

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I had something I wanted to write about tonight, but as I tried to write it, I realized this is something I need to talk about instead. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s too personal. It’s hard to say. I decided about 90 minutes ago to record video instead of writing it, but I am finding every excuse in the world to put it off. I don’t look good enough to do video tonight. I’m tired. I need sleep. I ought to shave first. Maybe I should wait until next week. Or next month. Whatever. I’m good at delaying what I ought to do. I’ve been needing to do more video — and this is something I want to talk about with you directly — so I need to force myself to follow through. So if I haven’t posted a video in the next 24 hours or so, how about asking me where it is? Light a fire under me. I need somebody to hold me accountable. (Well, about a lot of things.) Call or email me, but don’t let me off the hook. Please?

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