David McElroy

When I came home from the hospital last Tuesday — after spending four days surrounded by the noise of people and beeping machines — all I wanted was to be left alone.

A couple of friends brought me home — she drove me and he drove the car I’d taken to the emergency room — and they were generous in their sincere efforts to do anything I needed done. They offered to go get food for me and take care of anything else I needed.

I appreciated all they wanted to do, but all I wanted was for them to leave. I wanted peace and quiet. I wanted to be alone.

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At some point in your young life, you were rewarded for being something — and the pleasure of that reward led you to end up believing that was who you really were.

But who were you before that? Who were you before parents and teachers and culture taught you to conform to what they wanted? Do you remember?

Those people rarely say, “This is what I want you to be.” They don’t even necessarily have bad intentions. But the people around you start shaping you into what they believe you ought to be. Sometimes they try to make you into little versions of themselves. Sometimes they’re acting out of fears from their own lives — trying to save you from something which damaged them.

But you were born knowing who you are. Do you remember who that is?

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