Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

Would you have avoided mistakes if a psychic could’ve warned you?
I’ve been sent to Facebook jail — and nothing about it makes sense
In praise of the weirdos who most people don’t really seem to like
If you play the DC power game, all that matters is the game
The Cain Train becomes train wreck when candidate has to think on feet
Maybe we’re doomed to replay past until we finally get it right
Donald Trump’s jingoistic tribalism marks him as a dangerous buffoon