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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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When you can’t call one you love, silent phone just taunts your need

By David McElroy · June 17, 2018

Who do you suppose was the first person to look at a telephone and desperately want to call someone — but know he can’t?

Before the telephone, two people were either in the same place or they weren’t. After the telephone came along, time on the phone — and later other forms of live conversations such as chat and FaceTime — became reasonable facsimiles of the real thing. Not as good as touching someone, of course, but far more satisfying than nothing.

As more and more people got telephones — and the sound quality got better over the years — there had to come a point at which someone looked at his or her phone for the first time and wanted to call someone that he or she couldn’t call. I wonder when that was.

I didn’t have periods such as this early in my life, but it’s become common now. I want to hear her voice. I want to hear her words. I want to listen to her thoughts and emotions. But I can’t.

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After his death, I can finally see good in narcissistic father again

By David McElroy · June 17, 2018

This is the first time in many years when I haven’t felt a horrible sense of dread about Father’s Day.

My father expected to be honored and acknowledged on Father’s Day, but I quit doing that a long time ago, because I decided I couldn’t continue to be that dishonest. Instead, the day became an annual reminder of the tension between the praise he wanted and the reality of what I needed to say to him.

When I kept trying to get him to talk with me about the past — and how he treated me in that present — he used to get angry and say, “Nobody gives me any credit for all the things I did for you children.”

That wasn’t true, but when you need to get someone to look at the abuse he’s inflicted on you (and continues to inflict), you’re in no mood to recount anything good about him. Now that he’s dead — and no longer stalking me online and showing up at my door unannounced — I can finally allow myself to look at his positive side once again.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: family, father, Father's Day, narcissistic personality disorder, psychology

She took an easy way to escape risk, but she’s left to deal with empty life

By David McElroy · June 16, 2018

I never thought I’d talk with her again, so it was a bit like talking to a ghost.

When I answered the phone, her voice sounded just as I remembered. For a brief moment, I went back and forth between feeling as though I was hearing a voice from another life and feeling as though I had just talked with her hours before. She felt completely alien to me — but she also felt intimately familiar.

I don’t know why she called. She said she didn’t even know. She suddenly needed to talk with me and she impulsively dialed my number.

She’s married now, but she used to love me. That’s what she said, anyway. I used to love her, but she hurt me by pulling away unexpectedly. With no warning or explanation, she changed course. She disappeared from my life and quickly married someone else. I never knew why and that hurt. I assumed it was some fault in me — something that would cause her to choose another man.

Now I finally know the truth — and the truth makes me sad.

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My Instagram

Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
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Critter Instagram

From the CritterCam: Oliver seems to have taken ov From the CritterCam: Oliver seems to have taken over the cat bed on my desk this evening. I’m betting that I’ll find Alex on top of the castle instead, but the fact that I find myself thinking about this on the way home from work says a lot about my unorthodox priorities in life. 😺
From the CritterCam: I have no idea what was outsi From the CritterCam: I have no idea what was outside an office window to catch Alex’s attention — birds, maybe? — but he briefly looked very intrigued.
By the time I got back home, it was dark outside a By the time I got back home, it was dark outside and pouring rain. Alex had taken over my chair in the bedroom. His extended paw makes him look as though he’s a weather god giving orders for the storm to go away.
Sam just posed for me in an office window. I’m nev Sam just posed for me in an office window. I’m never sure whether they’re licking their chops in this way because they’re thinking about eating me. 😺
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
Oliver sometimes makes a trial run at finding the Oliver sometimes makes a trial run at finding the right lap spot, as he did here as soon as I changed clothes after work today.
From the CritterCam: Oliver is just relaxing in th From the CritterCam: Oliver is just relaxing in the cat bed on my desk as he watches the neighborhood on the side of the house. Even though Alex uses this bed more than the others do — by far — this was the bed that came with Oliver when he was a kitten, so he deserves to use it all he wants.
Alex can’t think of any good reason for him to be Alex can’t think of any good reason for him to be awake at 6:30 a.m., so he’s ignoring me entirely right now.
Alex and I have been spying on the neighborhood ve Alex and I have been spying on the neighborhood very late Tuesday night. I’ve been trying to get to bed since about midnight, but now that it’s 3:30 a.m., Alex and I both need to join the other boys in getting to sleep. I always like it when one of them stays up on such late nights to keep me company.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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