Do you ever have a really horrible compulsion that won’t leave you alone?
I’ve had one of those for years now and I can’t make it go away. I also can’t figure out any way that it makes sense, so I hover in this in-between world where something inside me whispers, “You must do this,” and I respond back with a bewildered, “But what would that even mean?!”
Please indulge me here. I need to talk about this, but I don’t know what I want to say. I don’t have a point. I just feel the urgent need to talk with you about this.
I haven’t been interested in acting or any kind of public performance since I was a teen-ager. Back then, I acted in plays. I made speeches. (I won second place in a state speech contest and I’m still angry that I came in second.) Public performance was easy, but I haven’t sought such opportunities for decades.
For the last few years, though, I can’t shake the intense feeling that I need to be making videos to talk to the world — yet I haven’t the slightest clue about the purpose or content. Crazy, right?

UPDATE: No, I really haven’t died; I’ve just lost my sense of purpose
Just a sandwich: Why do people make everything so political?
Advocating peace requires more than hating those who start wars
If you need vacation from spouse, maybe you married wrong person
‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
Do people change? Or do we just learn how to manage our faults?
We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone