David McElroy

I never have to tell Molly to listen to her inner voice and get in touch with her genuine needs.

If you’ve spent much time around cats, you know that felines are always in touch with their needs. Nobody has to tell them to what they need or what they want.

If they’re hungry, you’re going to hear about it. If they want to play, they’re going to interrupt whatever you’re doing. They have no sense of shame about demanding exactly what they want.

Humans are trained from an early age to be just the opposite. Children who ask too often for what they need or want are considered problem kids. They’re told not to be so selfish. They’re often punished for having too many needs and wants. They’re rewarded for ignoring their needs and putting others first.

It’s no wonder that many of us realize — decades into our lives — that we have a sense of shame about asking for what we need and what we want. Family and society have programmed us not to ask for much. Many of us eventually realize that we’ve subordinated those inner needs and wants for so long that we can’t even hear the voice that’s trying to tell us what’s wrong — or what’s missing.

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