It’s another door slammed and bolted
It’s one more window locked
You were on your way back home and now you’re not
— Terry Scott Taylor, “I Plan, God Laughs”
When I was 24, I had a plan for my life. I knew exactly where I was going. What I was going to do. Who I was going to become. Then I changed. My life changed. I threw that plan away.
By the time I was about 28, I had a completely different plan. It was so clear and simple. But things went in a different direction. I learned more about myself — and then another plan was tossed.
Things were radically different by the time I was 32, then took another unexpected turn when I hit 40.
How many plans have I had? At least half a dozen major plans, maybe more. But I keep changing. And when I change, I find that the things which seemed so important before can seem more like grim jokes. The goal I had wanted seems pointless. The woman I had loved with all my heart is worth nothing to me.
My plans have involved careers, romantic partners and dreams of fame and power. There’ve been visions of money and success and art and love. Especially love. But every time I make a plan, God seems to laugh gently at me, because I can’t see what’s coming.
I keep changing. Unexpected things keep happening. And then my old plans seem laughable and naive. That seems to be happening once more.

You’ve been lied to: Freedom and democracy are different things
Friend’s happy family and career remind me how good life can be
What kind of savages are we today? ‘Pick ’em out and knock ’em out’
Boston ‘gay on gay’ assault shines light on absurdity of ‘hate crime’
The plan sounded fair at the time, but why did I pay for everything?
My father taught me not to trust; that’s been very tough to change