I had another birthday last week. They seem to show up more quickly every year now. When I look in the mirror, I still see a 30-year-old man — but I wonder what others see.
For at least 10 years now — maybe 20 — I’ve had a list of things I need to change to make my life what I want it to be. I’ve made a lot of excuses about why I haven’t made those changes. Some of the excuses are pretty decent — even reasonable — but others are just self-indulgent whining.
I’m not yet where I want to be. I’m not yet who I want to be. And there’s a part of me which keeps telling me the lie that I still have forever to make those changes.
As I drove home from dinner Saturday night, I was almost hit by a speeding car which was running from a police car that was right behind it. I was on a four-lane highway which has a turn lane in the middle. I was stopped in the turn lane and was moments from darting to the left through an opening in traffic.
As I was about to accelerate into my left turn, I saw blue lights in my rear-view mirror — and then I realized the police car was chasing someone who was speeding directly toward me. I realized in horror that there was no way either of the cars could possibly stop.
They were about to hit me — and I thought I was about to die.

Film hurts when I hear, ‘I’ve seen what we can be like together’
Conflict pushes inner buttons to make me feel like child in trouble
I used to ponder who I really am; today I just ask who I am for now
Vile human cost of war ignored by Americans playing political games
Nobody can ever be good enough when perfection is the standard
My political lens makes me think you’re crazy — and vice versa
My father’s narcissistic abuse led to my mother’s attempt to kill him