I was surprised a couple of days ago to learn that Bill and Melinda Gates are divorcing. I don’t keep up with celebrity marriages and I’d never had any great interest in the Gates family. But I’d always had the impression they were a happy and stable family.
Marriages break up for all sorts of reasons and I have no idea what happened with the Gates family. But their announcement has had me thinking about why so many relationships that start like fairy tales end up like nightmares.
It seems to me that our desires often mislead us. When we’re looking for someone to date, we have a list of things we want — conscious or unconscious — but those aren’t necessarily things that will keep people together for good.
As I’ve gotten more mature — in life and in relationships — I’ve noticed that my own standards have unconsciously changed.
About 10 years ago, I casually dated a woman for about a year. Someone later asked me what I meant by saying we had dated “casually.” I wasn’t sure how to explain it at first. Then the truth dawned on me — and I understood something about myself.

Without growth on similar paths, two people drift apart, love dies
My need to win isn’t pretty, but it’s key to who I’ve always been
If you’ve gotten on the wrong bus, nothing changes until you get off
Idiotic idea of the year: Turn email over to the U.S. Postal Service
It might not matter who’s right; just fix the problem and move on
Will you uncover your blind spots? Or will you ignore red flags again?
Voting Rights Act oversight rules should reflect today, not the past
In ’98, Ron Paul warned U.S. policy was leading to terrorist attacks
We know our world must change, but we keep saying, ‘yes, but…’