David McElroy

We casually talk about how there can be a “spark“ between a man and a woman. And we talk about how two people can have a “connection.“ Sometimes we speak of physical “attraction.“

We have all sorts of language for it, but in all these cases, we think we’re using figurative words for something which doesn’t physically exist. We don’t think these connections are real things with a tangible presence. We act as though these words are just ways of talking about something which isn’t quite real.

But what if there really is some unknown thing — some force which we can’t see — that can connect two people? What if there really is some sort of invisible spark — an actual thing which we just can’t measure — that passes between two human hearts? And what if the attraction that we speak of is just as real as the physical attraction of a magnet to a complementary magnet?

I’ve experienced these feelings. You probably have, too. For a long time, I accepted all of these descriptions as beautiful metaphors for something which isn’t quite real. But I no longer believe that.

I’ve come to believe that two people can be connected simply because there is something in the essence of each of them which can’t help being connected — in a way they can’t see or explain — to each other. I can’t prove it. I don’t fully understand it. But it’s magic when it happens.

I can react just like the needle of a compass which is invisibly drawn to a magnetic field. Tap or click below to join me as I struggle to talk about this beautiful mystery.

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I recently met a young woman who tells me that she’s neither male nor female. She refuses to use her given female name and wants to be called by a rather generic word.

I like the woman and find her easy to get along with. I call her by the name she prefers and I go out of my way to avoid any discussion related to gender, because I see no need to be confrontational. I have no desire to intentionally offend her if I don’t have to.

What I won’t do, though, is to pretend she’s not a woman. She’s entitled to the bizarre belief which she’s been taught, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pretend that this gender fantasy is reality.

In this dysfunctional culture, we are regularly lectured that we “hate” people if we refuse to pretend that reality is something which it’s not. The most peculiar part of it is that I feel absolutely no hatred for the people who have bought into “gender theory,” but the social justice warriors of the progressive left regularly express vicious hatred for those like me — those who have a serious and fundamental philosophical difference with them over the nature of reality.

I don’t hate people who call themselves “transgender” or “non-binary” or any of the other dozens of new and unscientific terms. But their leftist supporters hate me because I won’t deny objective reality as I rationally understand it.

And this is why millions of people today are afraid to be very public when they admit that gender is a biological fact, not a “social construct.”

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When I look into a mirror, I sometimes wonder who’s staring back at me. I especially feel that way tonight.

This is what I look like tonight. I just got home. I’m exhausted. I’m sure I look tired. After I fed Lucy and the cats, I put my iPhone in front of my face to snap this photo. I wanted to see if I look as tired as I feel. And I think I do.

At first, I couldn’t figure out why I’m feeling so negative. Being tired isn’t anything unusual, but this feels different. I feel more like someone who’s been stuck at an airport for years waiting to catch a flight — and I’m always disappointed that it hasn’t arrived.

I started thinking about what a friend told me today. He just found out that he has to have some major surgery in a couple of weeks. If he doesn’t fix the serious problem doctors have found, he would very likely die within a few years. Plenty of people have surgery — and face life-threatening problems — every day. But my friend is the same age I am. Maybe that’s why this feels different.

It’s not that I feel old. I just feel stuck. I’m waiting and waiting for my life to begin. But I’ve lost my way. I’ve never felt so alone. And there’s a part of me which fears this will never change.

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