David McElroy

I’ve started getting a lot of steamy email spam lately. The spam offers me no-strings-attached sex and all the pleasure I want. I’ve been fascinated by the marketing approach — because some percentage of men must find this attractive.

Helen recently uploaded some XXX pix that you need 2 see!! She lives in your area and is looking for a Man 4 a “One Night Stand”!!

Local Singles and Wild Milfs online 4 NSA Flings – Quick Sex Assured with as many Cheating Housewives as you Wish

No Strings Attached Sex, Perfect for One Night Stands. No Strings – No Distractions just Pleasures!!!

Some people are so scared of emotional vulnerability that sex is their only substitute — and they end up never understanding the difference. I assume those are the people who are clicking these links.

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As I drove through an upscale suburban Birmingham neighborhood Thursday afternoon, I couldn’t help thinking how much I hated the houses — and how stifling I found the oppressive designs.

I laughed at myself, though, because I knew I was one of the very few people in town who would think such a thing. This neighborhood is popular and desirable. The irony was that I was driving to a $250,000 home which my own realty clients were buying in just a few minutes.

The house is exactly what the couple wanted, particularly the wife. She loves a stately home that’s very traditional two-story in red brick — and this neighborhood has variations of that in abundance. And I was about to be paid a commission for helping them to find and buy a house which they loved — and which I would have considered oppressive and stifling.

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I don’t remember the subject of our disagreement, but I remember the sneer on his face.

“You just think you’re smarter than me!” he bellowed with disdain.

I’ve had this conversation with others through the years and it always follows the same script. An idiot says something stupid to me and I point out the flaw in what he says. He responds — with a non sequitur or some made up “fact,” usually — and I point out his error.

That’s when he pulls out his trump card. Instead of making a rational argument for whatever he believes, he accuses me of thinking I’m better than he is — because I’ve committed the grave mistake of being smarter than he is.

I’ve never actually said this to someone under such circumstances, but I always want to reply, “Well, yes, I am smarter than you are, you ignorant moron.”

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