David McElroy

Two different people people asked my opinion last week about the importance of politics. I had an instinctive answer, but I haven’t been sure exactly how to explain my feelings. A phone conversation I just had clarified it for me.

I’ve spent a disproportionate amount of my life working around politics. In the beginning, it was simply fascinating, but before long, I was being paid to give other people advice and produce advertising for them. I’ve spent countless hours, weeks and even years pouring my thoughts and effort into campaigns. Other than the money I’ve made to support myself along the way, has any of it mattered?

About 90 minutes or so ago, I had something I needed to get written. I was working on a deadline, and I was scouring the various political ideas I have, trying to decide what was important. Then I got a phone call from someone I didn’t expect to hear from. I spent most of the time I should be writing talking on the phone instead.

When I die, am I more likely to remember that phone call or who won a gubernatorial campaign I worked hard on in 1998?

You might think it’s a silly question. Obviously a race for governor affects millions of people. It’s important. It’s political. All the books say that it matters. Right?

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LOS ANGELES — In an effort to spice up a Republican presidential campaign that’s not attracting the ratings it once did, the GOP is teaming with former “American Idol” star Simon Cowell for a series of “Republican Idol” debates starting in two weeks.

“When some Republican Party poobah first called me in London to discuss the idea, I was really skeptical,” Cowell said Monday. “Then I watched some of the video of the previous debates and realized we could turn this into quite a show if we just produce it right. It already has a fantastic cast of nutty characters just waiting for someone to mine their comic potential. This is going to be a blast. I expect ratings will shoot through the roof.”

Republican national chairman Reince Priebus said his staff was similarly skeptical of the changes Cowell will be bringing to the show, but said his party’s need to appeal to mainstream voters made it worth working through the initial creative differences.

“I wasn’t initially comfortable with the opening act that will require all the candidates to perform together,” Priebus said. “But Simon tells me that audiences love that sort of goofy camaraderie. The candidates were mostly OK with at after we said their parts could be lip-synched, but all of the dancing will be legitimate and they’ll all be wearing the same flag-covered Spandex costumes. If we can get the act together in time, there’s even going to be a Christmas special with lots of singing and dancing.”

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When I was a  junior in college, I was Santa Claus for a few weeks. Seriously.

Back in those days, the biggest and most successful mall in Birmingham was called Century Plaza. If you happened to have your kid’s picture taken with Santa at Century Plaza that year, chances are one-in-four that it was me behind the red suit and fake white beard. (There were four of us who worked in shifts.)

Getting to be Santa Claus was a memorable experience for many reasons. I’ve always loved children and enjoyed working with them even then. Still, it was a harder job than I thought it would be. It’s hot inside the costume, and you’re constantly performing for hours at a time — and children are a very demanding audience. But there was one night on that job that I’ll always remember, and it had nothing to do with anything fun.

As Christmas got closer, more and more people waited in longer and longer lines to see Santa. One Saturday night very close to Christmas, I’d worked my regular four-hour shift and was scheduled to go feed my reindeer — translation: change places with the next guy — at about 6 p.m. The replacement didn’t show up, though, and I had to work the rest of the night.

Around 7:30 or so, I noticed a woman standing beyond the line all by herself. She looked alternately happy and despondent, almost like what you’d expect from someone who’s a manic depressive cycling through quick ups and downs. I didn’t think anything of it, but I was surprised to find about half an hour later that she had waited in line all by herself to see Santa Claus.

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