As I read aloud from the book, I could tell that my girlfriend was increasingly upset by what she was listening to. It was nearly a decade ago and my then-girlfriend and I had been learning more about ourselves by working our way through a personality system called ANSIR. I was reading a section of a book which discussed a long-term pairing of her type and my type.
“Then we don’t have any chance, do we?” she said with tears in her eyes once I finished.
I was at a stage in our relationship when I thought we probably should split up. For me, the book was just pointing out obvious problems between us that needed work. In a way, I was letting this book guide us toward the breakup that I thought I wanted and that I thought was right.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately and about a lot of the discussions she and I had during that period. Was I right in believing that our personality differences were driving our problems? Was she right in concluding we had no chance because of what the book said about our core differences?

Is there life on Mars? Is there love? Where can we find what’s missing?
‘Tolerant’ left seethes with hate if you don’t accept ‘gender theory’
Why do American Christians impose political beliefs on God?
I should have said this long ago: ‘I’m lucky to have you in my life’
Plans change and people hurt us, but we often need to start over
I swiftly judged her bad attitude, but I was slow to judge myself
I wanted to be Capt. James Kirk; have I become Ignatius J. Reilly?