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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · July 13, 2012

In light of the Supreme Court’s recent ruling concerning the individual mandate of ObamaCare, everybody’s getting into the act of redefining theft to be a tax. (Of course, taxes are theft, too, but that’s another subject.)

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If the kids are confused in school, maybe it’s the system and teachers

By David McElroy · July 13, 2012

The woman seemed confused from the beginning. She was attending a one-day teacher workshop on middle school math education that was being conducted by a prestigious national organization. But she seemed completely lost when it came to actual math.

At one point, an exercise required simplifying a fraction. Hers was 16 over 20. She had no idea that it simplified to four-fifths. She was then supposed to convert that into a percentage. She not only didn’t know off the top of her head that it was 80 percent — which most people could do — she also didn’t understand when someone punched four divided by five into a calculator and showed her the results.

It’s pretty bad for a math teacher to be this ignorant of the very simple math she’s supposed to be teaching, but it’s actually worse. The woman was at this workshop because she’s writing a specialized math curriculum for her entire state. She works for her state’s department of education — and this woman who didn’t understand the basic material is about to write what all the kids are supposed to learn from.

Are you scared yet?

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Do we really need so much ‘stuff’? Do we own it? Or does it own us?

By David McElroy · July 12, 2012

Why do I pay for 1,450 square feet of space to live in? I think about that frequently, and I don’t have a good answer. I live alone, with just the cats and a dog to keep me company. (They mostly hang out close to wherever I am.) I basically need a desk for my computer, a place to sleep and a bathroom. So why do I waste the money on space that could house four or five families in some parts of the world?

I’ve been thinking about this more and more lately. That makes it sound as though it’s just a rational thought, but it’s more than that. I’ve been feeling something I can only call a compulsion in my heart to get rid of almost everything I own and move to a much smaller place.

Do we really own the things we own? Or do they own us? I don’t have a tremendous amount of stuff — certainly not compared to most people I know — but the stuff I do have is making me feel weighed down. I don’t know why. I just know I don’t like it.

We live in a society with certain expectations of what’s acceptable, especially for those of us in the middle class or higher. We’re supposed to have a home that looks a certain way. We’re supposed to fill it with socially acceptable furniture. We’re supposed to care what other people think about what we have. We’re supposed to want the things that other people have. And most people believe they do want those things.

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Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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Critter Instagram

Sam was in his favorite window and then Oliver jum Sam was in his favorite window and then Oliver jumped up there with him. The ledge isn’t really big enough for two cats — especially when one of them is Oliver — but they’re sharing for the time being. A neighbor is cutting his grass Sunday afternoon and this seems pretty fascinating for the moment. This is a pretty good look at how much bigger Oliver is than Sam.
If you look at Oliver’s ears, you can tell that he If you look at Oliver’s ears, you can tell that he is still unhappy about the fireworks that have been going off in the neighborhood for most of the night. As soon as I got home, he wanted to be picked up and he started purring, but he was still wary about all the noise.
Alex isn’t thrilled with the fireworks in the neig Alex isn’t thrilled with the fireworks in the neighborhood tonight, so he’s been hanging out with me.
A few minutes before sunset, Sam is watching some A few minutes before sunset, Sam is watching some people in the distance setting off firecrackers. He’s not scared by the noise so far, but he’s mesmerized.
Alex is asleep on my desk late Saturday afternoon Alex is asleep on my desk late Saturday afternoon and Oliver is giving him a withering look as he wanders by, as though to judge Alex for sleeping this late in the day. I think Oliver wants to play.
Oliver is the only one of the cats still hanging o Oliver is the only one of the cats still hanging out with me at almost 2 a.m. Alex and Sam have already gone to the office, but Oliver has been on the bed near me while I’ve been writing. But he’s finally given up and gone to sleep.
Alex just came to the bedroom to remind me that I Alex just came to the bedroom to remind me that I haven’t yet gotten around to feeding him — and he’s making it clear that I will pay for this transgression with my very soul unless I act quickly.
Alex has been busy with his daily “castle destruct Alex has been busy with his daily “castle destruction” duties — as you can see on the column at the left — so he’s about ready to spend the rest of the day recovering from this hard work.
At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. Al At midnight, Oliver posed on the mantle for me. All the lights were off in the office except for on light over the window right next to the mantle, so it worked as a spotlight for him.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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