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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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He couldn’t mold her into himself, but my dad broke Mother’s spirit

By David McElroy · March 5, 2019

I grew up believing my mother was crazy.

That’s what my father said, so it had to be so. I don’t think he ever used the word “crazy,” but that’s what he meant. I didn’t know any better, so I believed him. Mostly, anyway. I thought there must be something wrong with her — because she would get along with my father if she weren’t crazy. Right?

I grew up believing my father was the word of truth about everything. Worshipping him was the family religion. His word was divine. No dissent was allowed. To question him was a sin. And he assured me that my mother was crazy.

Everything was simple then. He was light; she was dark. He was sane; she was crazy. He was good; she was bad. He constantly told me stories to reinforce that.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: childhood, mental illness, mother, parenting, psychology

Tell me the music you listen to and that’ll reveal a lot about you

By David McElroy · March 4, 2019

I have a friend who’s had the same hundred (or so) songs on his iPhone for a decade now. Before that, they were on an iPod. Before that, they were on cassette tapes.

But they’ve been the same hundred songs all these years.

He can’t imagine why anyone would want more music than that. And he certainly can’t imagine why he would want to find new music. He heard everything he wants to hear 20 or 30 years ago, so he’s set for life.

What do you listen to? Are you like the typical person whose music-listening is still dominated — partly or completely — by the music you first heard in high school or college? Does the music you choose — consciously or unconsciously — say something about who you are and how your mind works? I think so.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: music, psychology

Just $12 fed mom and her girls, but bigger challenges lie ahead

By David McElroy · March 3, 2019

The woman and her daughter looked tired as they sat down at a table next to me at McDonald’s. They were quiet and it struck me that they seemed solemn. Had the woman been crying?

The girl and her mother were counting change. I had heard her ask an employee for some menu prices and how much sales tax would be. Then it dawned on me. They were counting their remaining change to see what they could afford to order.

I tried to strike up a friendly conversation, but they were guarded. The woman responded politely, but she didn’t feel much like being friendly to a stranger. I got up from my seat and walked over to their table.

“Are you a little short?” I asked quietly, not wanting anyone else to hear and risk embarrassing her. “I’d be happy to help if I can.”

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: abuse, mother, parenting

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My Instagram

This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
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When I got home at midnight, Alex was hiding in a When I got home at midnight, Alex was hiding in a cave of the castle — waiting for Oliver to wander past. Within a minute or so, Oliver came by and Alex pounced. I presume they had been chasing one another before I got home.
It’s after 7 a.m., but all three cats are still as It’s after 7 a.m., but all three cats are still asleep in the office. At least Sam opened his eyes to see what I wanted. The other two were too lazy to even do that. I envy their lifestyle.
It’s almost 2 a.m., but Alex’s purrbox was still w It’s almost 2 a.m., but Alex’s purrbox was still working overtime when he jumped into my lap just now.
I was just eating a sandwich when I suddenly felt I was just eating a sandwich when I suddenly felt as though I was being watched. I looked down in the floor below and found this pair of eyes watching intently. You don’t have to be a feline mind-reader to know that Sam wanted my ham.
Just before lunchtime, Oliver was still napping in Just before lunchtime, Oliver was still napping in the hanging basket of his castle. You can barely see Alex asleep in the little bed on my desk behind him. Sam was sunning himself on a window ledge.
If you need a new guru — or three of them — the fe If you need a new guru — or three of them — the feline masters will be waiting at the Purrvana Institute. This is my latest ridiculous parody. 😺
Alex sometimes enjoys a belly rub — and this Satur Alex sometimes enjoys a belly rub — and this Saturday evening seems to be one of those times. He was back to sleep right after this.
The cats often sit in an office window and watch s The cats often sit in an office window and watch squirrels such as this one in the front yard. As long as the squirrels are in the grass, I can keep up with them, but the picture of the one on a tree trunk (second picture) shows why I sometimes don’t see them as clearly as the cats do. If these little killers were outside, I suspect the squirrel population around here would be thinned out quite a bit. 🙀
I just came into the bedroom to find that Alex had I just came into the bedroom to find that Alex had gotten underneath a black t-shirt that I had thrown onto the bed — and Oliver was investigating what was going on. I don’t think you can hear it on this video, but Alex was purring the entire time. Sam is in the background keeping an eye on what his brothers are doing.
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The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

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