Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

If you think world is about logic, you misunderstand human nature
Now that his threat is truly gone, I realize my father hated himself
Bernanke’s ‘helicopter drop’ gave $1.2 trillion to Wall Street banks
If you accept that you’re a fool, being wrong is a lot less scary
Parent has to realize a child isn’t just miniature version of himself
Loss of cultural consensus means violent conflict in decades ahead
If Boston bombing suspect doesn’t have rights, neither do the rest of us
Federal debt default? So what? It happened before — in 1979