David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

Hugs from a sweet little girl can erase stress after long work day

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My weary muscles ached as I walked into the restaurant for dinner Tuesday evening. I was later than usual because I’d been shooting pictures to prepare for a new real estate listing. I was hot and tired and cranky.

And then Isabella saw me.

She was playing with a couple of other little girls when she saw me, but she dropped them and came running to me. She grabbed my leg to hug me and then reached up for me to pick her up. I reached down and lifted her tiny body and she wrapped her arms around my neck.

All of a sudden, I felt very different. I had energy. I felt happy. I felt as though I must be pretty special for this beautiful little blonde lady to be so happy to see me.

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Predictions of doom keep failing, so isn’t it rational to doubt them?

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For most of my life, I’ve been hearing very specific predictions that the Earth was doomed and humanity was all going to starve to death.

The prescriptions were always the same. Reduce energy use. Don’t have children. Recycle. Stop economic growth. Quit driving cars. The list went on and on.

The predictions we heard — from mainstream scientists respected by the environmental movement — were dire. Stanford University biologist Paul Ehrlich told us (in his best-selling book, “The Population Bomb”) that millions and millions of people were doomed to starve to death no matter what we did. Respected ecologist Kenneth Watt told us that the world was cooling and that we were heading toward another ice age.

The point isn’t to laugh at the ignorance of well-meaning people in 1970, but to ask why we’re still following the prognostications and political agendas of people whose predictions have all been wrong before.

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For some of us, loss of trust is a deep existential threat to heart

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I can’t sleep tonight. There’s no physical cause. I just can’t stop myself from reliving an old hurt over and over again.

It’s not something that matters anymore. That’s why it’s so frustrating. It involves someone who’s not in my life anymore and who I don’t even want in my life. But I can’t stop feeling an awful stabbing at my heart with a pain that feels just like a physical hurt.

For years, I assumed everybody felt this way, but I slowly figured out that I have something that’s like an emotional disability — another long-term effect from childhood “programming.”

I don’t trust people very easily. If you got to know me, that might surprise you, because I can be comfortable telling people my darkest secrets pretty quickly. I can judge someone’s character and trust people about pragmatic things — honesty and safety — but it’s very rare when I can trust someone with my inner self.

My real self. My heart. Who I really am.

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