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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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What if our best romantic decisions come by listening to ‘selfish genes’?

By David McElroy · August 8, 2018

What if love is really just a manipulative tool of biology? What if the best mating decisions we make come from our genes instead of our conscious brains?

I’ve become obsessed lately with the idea that something inside us simply knows the romantic decisions we need to make. I don’t mean to imply that every romantic pairing is automatically right. I also don’t mean to imply that we always choose the right partners with whom to reproduce. (Those notions are obviously and demonstrably untrue.)

But what if there is some mechanism inside us that sometimes whispers — in a language we don’t consciously comprehend — words to the effect of, “This one is a right fit for you,” when we encounter someone new?

I’ve often considered the idea that there’s something inside us that just knows when one person is right and another is wrong, but I’m suggesting it goes even deeper than I’ve considered before. I’m suggesting that the “selfish gene” inside us — to use Richard Dawkins’ term — knows what we ought to do — and that romantic happiness comes from obeying the whispers of those genes.

Let me tell you about an experiment I used to do involving pictures of attractive women I knew.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: biology, genetics, love, marriage, relationships

I don’t claim to know the solution, but the modern church has failed

By David McElroy · August 6, 2018

The modern evangelical church shaped my early life to a remarkable degree. I was so deeply embedded in the church subculture that I unconsciously believed that being part of that culture was synonymous with knowing God.

I’ve lost faith in the church. I’ve lost faith in the people who have set themselves up as God’s spokesmen on earth. I’ve lost faith in the institutions which I was taught to believe in. I’ve lost faith in my long-cherished belief that being part of that subculture led to knowing God.

But as I’ve lost faith in all the earthly people and institutions which I was taught spoke for God, I’ve strengthened my belief in the God who I’ve always struggled to know and define and understand.

The church as I knew it was just a subculture — a little subset — of modern American culture. We were shaped by our national culture and then we unconsciously shaped our religion to be an acceptable part of the middle class culture we cherished.

If the Christian church is just a subculture of modern American life, what is the point of its existence?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: church, faith, God, religion

If you’ve gotten on the wrong bus, nothing changes until you get off

By David McElroy · August 4, 2018

Getting where you want to go in life can be complicated. We’re all making this up as we go along. Other people give us advice. Many act as though they know what they’re doing. But even if you’re sure you know what you want — which can change along the way — how do you know which route will get you there?

So you choose a place where you want to go and then you come up with a plan to get there. Years ago, I heard a pastor talk about this in terms of navigating the bus system in an unfamiliar city. I was reminded of this today when Seth Godin used the same metaphor.

Let’s say you’ve chosen a route and gotten onto a bus. You’ve paid a price to be there. You’ve left the place where you were. You’ve settled in for a comfortable ride. And as the bus starts moving forward, you slowly realize this bus isn’t taking you where you wanted to go. What do you do about it?

Most of us stay on that bus. After all, we chose to get on. We don’t want to admit we were wrong. We already have an investment in wherever this bus is going. So we keep going in the wrong direction — because we forget that nothing is going to change until we get off this bus.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: bus, change, choices, life, psychology

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
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Late Saturday night, Alex and Meg spent a few minu Late Saturday night, Alex and Meg spent a few minutes cautiously eyeing each other from about three or four feet away. This is the closest any of the boys has voluntarily gotten to her and it’s the first time she hasn’t immediately backed off. So this was a major step in the right direction. They stayed like this for about five minutes and then Meg eventually scurried underneath the chair where I was sitting.
It’s hard to believe Meg had been here for only fo It’s hard to believe Meg had been here for only four days, because she constantly wants attention and acts as though she’s always been here. I just got back home and she immediately climbed into my lap and started purring. I think this little girl is happy to be here.
I told a friend last night that Meg had been “maki I told a friend last night that Meg had been “making biscuits,” but she didn’t know the phrase and asked what it meant. So I sent her this picture — before eventually explaining what it really means. 😺
With each passing day, Meg is relaxing more and be With each passing day, Meg is relaxing more and becoming more trusting. Just after midnight Thursday night, she’s relaxing in my arms and purring.
Meg wants to hang out on my chest and purr all eve Meg wants to hang out on my chest and purr all evening. I need to change clothes at some point.
When I got home, I took Meg into the office to bri When I got home, I took Meg into the office to briefly visit the other three cats. Alex had a big hiss for her when she got too close to him. There was a bit of hissing all around, but nothing that I didn’t expect. I’d say we’re right on track for what I’ve gone through many times before.
In the wee hours of the night, Meg is relaxing on In the wee hours of the night, Meg is relaxing on the bed and keeping me company as I write. She’s a beautiful little friend.
I just got back after being out for a couple of ho I just got back after being out for a couple of hours and she welcomed me home with a lot of purring. She’s now taking a bath on the floor at my feet.
The new tuxedo girl is rapidly adjusting to living The new tuxedo girl is rapidly adjusting to living inside a house — and I think she likes it. I’ve allowed very little interaction with the other cats so far, but she’s already learned to relax on the bed. I’m still leaning heavily toward calling her Meg (after the young protagonist of “A Wrinkle In Time.”)
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Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

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