David McElroy

Dave Chappelle makes a lot of people uncomfortable — and I understand why.

He’s a talented comic, but he goes out of his way to be offensive. A lot of comedians are crude and offensive, but Chappelle has the temerity to offend people who polite culture has declared untouchable.

I hadn’t seen much of Chappelle’s work, but the clips I’d seen showed me that he was funny and talented. He delivers his jokes with a casual style that makes it appear he’s engaged in conversation with his audience instead of delivering tired jokes.

Few people today are bothered by the sort of crude language he uses, but that’s not something I enjoy. My own language is so conservative that I’ve never spoken a word of profanity. It’s just not part of my vocabulary. So the fact that about a quarter of his words are profane or insulting bugs me. It’s not my preferred way to be entertained.

Popular culture has been mercilessly attacking Chappelle’s Netflix comedy special called “Sticks and Stones,” so I finally watched it Tuesday night. His language is offensive. His jokes are outrageous. He offends many of this culture’s modern sacred cows.

But I came away from it feeling that what Dave Chappelle is doing is important — even for those who don’t agree with him.

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A dark cloud has followed me all day.

But it’s worse than that. It’s more like a dark monster — spewing its foul hot breath down my neck — just waiting for its chance to devour me.

I’ve come to a restaurant where I haven’t been for a long time. I didn’t really want to deal with anyone I know, but I felt too restless to go home. I’m sitting next to a huge window with a view of a beautiful sunset on the horizon, but I don’t even feel like walking outside to take a photo.

The glorious red sky doesn’t match the blackness I feel inside.

It’s not depression that I feel. This sort of darkness is different. It’s more like hopelessness. It’s the feeling that I’ve been running a race — pushing toward the prize I needed with all my heart — and then finding that I’ve been running in a big circle. It’s the feeling that my time has been wasted. That I’ll never have what I’ve been chasing.

When I woke up this morning, I remembered a dream — a vivid night drama that had awakened me in the wee hours and made me feel terribly alone.

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