I was having dinner Saturday night with a woman I don’t know very well when a wave of despair hit me.
It was out of the blue. I had no idea where it came from. All I knew is that it felt like a sudden blast of pure despair — about myself, about the world, about the future, about being loved. About everything. It felt as though someone had flipped a switch inside me.
Suddenly, hope was gone. In the dark emptiness where it had been, there was a dark monster which I call depression.
Nothing outward changed. I was still smiling and pleasant with my dinner companion. She had no idea anything was going on. But after I dropped her off later in the evening, I drove home in silence and surrounded by a darkness which felt heavy and oppressive.
Why does hope disappear?
Just as Jesus cried when he felt abandoned on the cross, I feel like crying out at such times, “Why have you forsaken me?”

All offers eventually expire, so do your best to ‘come before winter’
Your narratives shape your politics, religion, friendships, relationships
We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
Economic Man needs no heart, because love and God are dead
Are you ready for chaos when fed shutdown turns your gravity off?
In praise of the weirdos who most people don’t really seem to like
As we encounter emotional truth, poisonous past can make us numb