David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

UPDATE: Major changes coming to this website in the next few months

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When I started this site seven years ago, less than 7 percent of the traffic came from mobile devices. Only slightly more than 4 percent came from iPhones and less than 3 percent came from Android devices. Seven years later, everything has changed.

In 2018, almost 36 percent of the traffic comes from iPhones. Another 24 percent of you come from Android devices. That means 60 percent of you come from mobile devices. (For the rest, it’s 27 percent from Windows, 10 percent from Macs and everything else combined for the remaining 3 percent.)

This site was never designed with mobile traffic in mind. In 2011, mobile devices were afterthoughts for most websites. My code gives mobile users the same experience desktop users get — and that’s simply not good enough anymore.

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Will you uncover your blind spots? Or will you ignore red flags again?

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Human beings tend to make the same mistakes — over and over again — but we can be incredibly slow to recognize what we’re doing to ourselves.

I used to ignore red flags in relationships, at least until it was too late for me to deal with them gracefully. As a result, I made the same sort of mistakes again and again — and I was too blind to realize what I was doing for a very long time.

It’s very rare for me to fall in love. I can count the instances of long-lasting romantic love in my life on one hand — and probably have fingers left over. But when I recognize what I want, it’s easy for me to become blind to a woman’s faults. It’s easy for me to make excuses for her. It’s easy for me to assume her tremendous strengths will eventually overcome the scary weaknesses that lie hidden inside her.

As a result, I’ve put a few women on pedestals — only to find that real flesh-and-blood human beings don’t belong on pedestals — because they’ve disappointed me with weaknesses which I didn’t anticipate. I ignored red flags — because I was oblivious to my blind spots.

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Very few things warm my heart and fill me with joy like babies

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I heard Mila before I saw her. The restaurant was empty a few minutes ago except for a handful of employees and me. But I heard Mila cry, so I knew there was a baby in the house.

I’d seen pictures of Mila before, but I’d never seen her in person. She was born almost 4 months ago to one of the managers here and I’d been wanting to meet her. Her father was called into work, so he had to drop her off with her mom while someone came to pick her up. In the 15 minutes she was here, I finally got to meet this little bundle of joy and love.

She’s a very serious baby and she seemed to be taking the entire world in with her huge brown eyes. She regarded me with intense curiosity. Then she eagerly took my finger in her tiny hand and squeezed it tightly as she gave me the only smile I saw from her.

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