Human beings tend to make the same mistakes — over and over again — but we can be incredibly slow to recognize what we’re doing to ourselves.
I used to ignore red flags in relationships, at least until it was too late for me to deal with them gracefully. As a result, I made the same sort of mistakes again and again — and I was too blind to realize what I was doing for a very long time.
It’s very rare for me to fall in love. I can count the instances of long-lasting romantic love in my life on one hand — and probably have fingers left over. But when I recognize what I want, it’s easy for me to become blind to a woman’s faults. It’s easy for me to make excuses for her. It’s easy for me to assume her tremendous strengths will eventually overcome the scary weaknesses that lie hidden inside her.
As a result, I’ve put a few women on pedestals — only to find that real flesh-and-blood human beings don’t belong on pedestals — because they’ve disappointed me with weaknesses which I didn’t anticipate. I ignored red flags — because I was oblivious to my blind spots.
We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone
More dependence ahead now that half of households get U.S. checks
Achievement or scam? Designer invents perfume you can’t smell
Creating work that I’m proud of gives me elusive feelings of joy
Homeless freeloaders upset those who want to freeload off ‘the rich’
Shame almost got me fired — and shame still haunts me years later
Intellectual honesty mostly dead — but few partisans even care